If you’re unfamiliar with thought work, read this first. Then head back here to read more about how I have used it to change my life.

A little disclaimer before I start: this was super uncomfortable for me to write. I’m getting raw with you here. I don’t know if I’ve ever even actually put all of this stuff together in so many words. Just felt the need for you to know that! }

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Okay, let me paint you a little picture of my life before I discovered thought work.

Growing up, I was not part of the “popular” crowd. I was a little nerdy (I guess, anyway…I remember being known for being the best at math in like, first grade…haha but that title was taken from me pretty quickly once math got a tiny bit more complicated), and a bit of a weirdo. In fact in elementary school, a classmate once told me that it was because my friend and I played with Beanie Babies at school that we weren’t part of the “preppies” (the term we used for the popular girls).

So I mean, apparently that was my downfall. And since my graduating class was only somewhere around 75 people, your “status” generally stuck with you. Hence – I did not enjoy junior high, and hated high school even more. Toward the end of my high school years, through the process of friendships dissolving and evolving, I often found myself spending excessive amounts of time in the girl’s bathroom at lunchtime just so I wouldn’t have to try to awkwardly interact with people.

However – I now know that I put way more limitations on myself than anyone else EVER did.

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Side note: if any of my fellow Declo High School 2008 alumni are reading this, I would be super interested to hear what you remember about your perception of our years together!

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Okay, moooooving forward! So, needless to say, I was BEYOND ready to go to college. I was so excited for a fresh start, to have a chance to actually be ME, to make new friends who wouldn’t have any preconceived notions about me…a fresh clean slate is exactly what I needed. That would fix everything.

– Or so I thought –

That first semester was HARD. I had a really…interesting mix of personalities with my roommates, and it was super challenging for me.

There were a couple of roommates who reminded me of my time in high school (so that was nice and triggering for me), a couple of roommates who were a little more on the unique side (and who I felt far more comfortable with than the first two), and another roommate who I had a lot in common with, who quickly became my saving grace.

But my reality still didn’t feel much different than it did while I was in high school. And that was HARD. I was so confused. I couldn’t understand why being in an entirely new location, surrounded by entirely different people felt like I was living the exact. same. life as I had been back home.

After that first semester, I got new roommates, I made new friends, and college actually did end up becoming the exact kind of experience I had been looking for. Those years are still some of my absolute happiest memories I have, and I completely cherish the deep, meaningful friendships I made there! I still consider many of my college friends to be my close friends today. I loved my time there.

So when I graduated college and moved out on my own, I was very taken aback when I sunk into an incredibly deep depression.

I had struggled with depression through high school and college, but at least in college I was able to manage it by staying busy with dance and friends.

But suddenly, there I was…off on my own, working at my big girl job at a hospital. I tried just staying busy, by constantly working overtime…going back home to visit when I could…going back to where I went to college to visit friends when I could.

But it always came back to me being by myself.

I thought the problem was that I was single. I never dated much. I had one boyfriend in college, and only went on just a few dates. So, I decided that that was my problem. I wanted to be married, and have a husband who loved and cared for me.

So when I met my husband (on the most random blind date ever…that’s a story for another day), I thought that would take care of everything. I rode that high like my life depended on it! And it worked…for a short time. It wasn’t long after we got married that I found myself once again being suffocated by my depression. I would call in sick to work, and just lay in bed or on the couch, wondering what on earth was wrong with me.

Then I was asked by the sister of one of my very best friends if I had ever thought about becoming a life coach. It felt like a lifeline, so I grabbed on tight, and pulled with all my might.

And that was where my healing finally began.

Yes, I worked on my physical health – that has always been a personal value of mine – but even more importantly, being a health coach taught me how to be an active participant in caring for my mental health.

I started reading books that actually fueled my brain with new thoughts that elevated my vibration. I started practicing positive affirmations. I still found myself dipping in and out of depression, but (even though it didn’t always feel like it) I was FINALLY moving in a forward direction…for what I believe was the first time in my life.

And then we had our first child…

…and I experienced an entirely new kind of depression – postpartum depression. That, along with postpartum anxiety, being thrown into the mix, and I felt like everything I had been working so hard on was just tossed aside like it was nothing. I was no match for this new challenge.

But I kept trying. I kept showing up.

Even though I was convinced that I was failing 99% of the time,

I just. kept. trying. I figured, what else was I going to do?

That’s about the time that I discovered thought work. That discovery is what I had been searching for for so long, without even realizing it. And so I eagerly spent a large chunk of my free time doing self-coaching, using thought work. Wanna know what that work has done for me?

It FINALLY gave me the confidence I had so desperately been searching for, and showed me the extent to which it has been missing.

And that confidence has given me everything else: the confidence to fully pursue my career as a coach MY way – not someone else’s way; the confidence to actually experience difficult emotions; the confidence to see when I am the one in the wrong; the confidence to recognize my fears, but take action anyway; the confidence to be willing to make mistakes; the confidence to risk looking like an idiot in pursuit of what I want. Just to name a few.

Alllllllllllllllllllll of those years I spent in depression, thinking that I just didn’t fit in…didn’t have any real friends…fearing that the friends I did have didn’t actually care…thinking that I didn’t matter…those were just thoughts. And guess who created those thoughts? ME.

I create my thoughts, and my thoughts create my reality

I am so grateful to past Megan who so diligently put in the work, even though there was no immediate evidence that the work was doing any good.

I still go through episodes of depression, and still deal with anxiety. But the difference now is that I know how to let myself experience them, rather than trying to numb or get rid of them.

I still have limiting beliefs, but I also now have a lot of abundant beliefs. And every time I’m able to make even one tiny shift in the direction I want to go, that provides me with even more evidence that I can do ANYTHING.

And friend…if I can go from being that little weirdo in elementary school who played with beanie babies, who thought she was as insignificant as a bread crumb – to being a full grown weirdo who wears mismatched socks and KNOWS she can change the world…

…then you can do literally anything.

As my pal Shaun T has said: “Do the work, and you will create your power!”

You’ve got this. And I’ve gotchu. Get to it, friend.