When I first dove in to the world of personal development, I found myself listening to podcasts from various life coaches. And often, these life coaches would share episodes featuring a private coaching session with one of their clients. As I would listen to them ask their clients all these questions, and guide them through the coaching session, I would get so nervous, anxious, and slightly frustrated on behalf of the clients!

I would always imagine myself as the client, experiencing their situation, and would often think, “I don’t know the answer to that! Why are they asking all these questions? This is so stressful! Why can’t the coach just say the answer instead of dragging out the process by asking 73984572 questions?? Just fix their life! Isn’t that what a life coach is supposed to do?”

Well…no. Turns out I was wayyyyy off base on what a life coach is supposed to do.

A life coach is not someone who just gives advice and tells you what to do. And I’m honestly a little embarrassed at how long it took me to realize that that is not the case. As in…it took clear until I started going through the process of getting certified as a life coach myself. But that’s besides the point.

I was so excited to become a life coach, because I always knew that I was a great listener, and was told that I always gave great advice. So I figured I might as well get paid to do those things!

Getting certified reeeeaaaaaally opened up my eyes on this topic, and I am SO glad I did it.

What a life coach does is take you deeper into what your brain is saying. They take you through the process of unraveling the stories you are telling yourself, the thoughts you are choosing into, and help you really capitalize on the potential you are currently sitting on. They help you understand what you actually want, vs. what you think you should want. They help you figure out what is and isn’t serving you, and how to reformulate your perspective in a way that provides you with peace and direction. They guide you through the entire process of going from where you are, figuring out where you want to go, and how to make that happen; and not by simply telling you what to do, but by asking the right questions to guide YOUR thoughts to discovering the answers.

I had also wondered what the difference is between a therapist and a life coach.

I definitely knew there was a difference, and that they are both insanely valuable in their different respects, but I wanted to understand it more clearly. Here is the conclusion I have come to:

They actually can work really really well together! A therapist (generally speaking) works through your past to get you to a healthy present. They diagnose the problem, use tangible tools, and give you specific steps and actions to assist you in recovering from past traumas and the like.

And then a life coach can pick you up from there! Life coaches generally don’t dwell on the past; they are very focused on the present, and guide you through your current thoughts using strategic questions, and help you reformulate your mindset. This helps us guide and empower YOU be the one to actually change your life. There is so much information out in the world these days, and it’s so easy to get caught up in it all, and get lost in it. Life coaches teach you how to put on your blinders, and then use a magnifying glass to amplify what it is that is actually going to provide you with the peace and progress you so desperately want.

I read somewhere once that the relationship between a life coach and their client is a creative partnership.

I can’t remember where I read that…maybe from Tony Robbins? Oh yeah, did you know that Tony Robbins is a life coach? He’s basically the life coach guru. Maybe that will help give you a bit of a frame of reference.

So, going back to the beginning of this post: now I understand why those life coaches asked their clients all of those “scary” questions. It wasn’t to quiz them for the “right” answer; it was simply to be able to gain a greater clarity and understanding of the thoughts that have been guiding the client’s actions. And through that process, they were able to encourage their clients to experience significant progress through self-discovery.

Lastly, I wanted to address just a couple of common questions and misconceptions about life coaching:

• What kind of things can a life coach help me with?

Here’s one definition of a life coach: “a professional who can help you excel in all areas of life.” Which means a life coach can really help you with just about anything! Just a few examples may include:

• setting and achieving health/fitness goals

• becoming financially abundant

• becoming a successful entrepreneur

• identifying core personal values

• handling life transitions with ease

• learning to foster healthy relationships

• identifying limiting beliefs

• creating a work/life balance you’re happy with

  …just to name a few.

• “Life coaching is only for people who have serious problems.”

False. SO false. Think about a professional athlete; they are a professional. At this point in their career, they pretty much know everything there could possibly be to know about the sport right? Sure. But, even they still need a coach to keep them on the path of progress and safety! Even when a professional is doing really well, one wrong misstep could send them into a world of hurt. A coach helps them avoid that misstep, because they can see the bigger picture from an outside perspective. It’s the same with a life coach.

Another analogy I really love to use is to think of yourself as some kind of product…a toy, a tablet, a fancy new curling wand, etc. You’re in the box, trying to read the instructions, and figure out how you’re supposed to work; but you’re wayyyyyy too close to be able to read all but a few words that end up making no sense, because they’re too isolated. A life coach can show you how to get out of the box, and then reads the instructions aloud to you so that you can actually make sense of how to use them. So, moral of the story: life coaching is useful for everyone!

• Why does life coaching work?

Because, unlike trying to create forward progress on your own, the relationship between you and your life coach creates true momentum and enthusiasm. Life coaching helps you clarify better goals – ones that naturally and intrinsically motivate you. Life coaching draws out new skills that you can use to create a more fulfilling life. And life coaching also provides a structure of support, which is vital for the times when you will inevitably runs into road blocks.

And there you have it! Did you find this helpful? Does this leave you with more questions? I would love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below! And if you’re ready to look further into private coaching for yourself, I’d love to offer you a free consultation call here. This is a no pressure call, where we talk about what you hope to gain from private coaching, and see if we would be a good coach-to-client fit!

If you’re not quite ready for private coaching, but still want to dip your toes into the coaching waters, I would recommend checking out my two online courses: Dear Body…Love, Me and The Habit Creation Formula.

Now go and make today a day of peace and progress!